Where’s Bob the Cat?

Nate and Claus the mouse loved their house with the lazy dog ironically named Sparky and their ever missing cat named Bob. But it turns out Bob had his eye on them the whole time.

Where is Bob the Cat?

by Jules de Jongh

Season 3 Episode 5

[opening theme music and strapline]

Nanny Bea: Good day to you, the kettle is boiled, the tea is brewing and my neighbour Jules will be bringing us a story any…

[knock sfx]

Nanny Bea:  minute now.

Nanny Bea:  Has that been a minute? Hello, are you who I think you are?

JulesOnly if you think it’s your neighbour Jules with a story.

Nanny Bea: That’s precisely what I was thinking. Hello dear.

Jules:  Hello Nanny Bea, I’ve got a tale today of a seldom seen cat, who makes a big impact when he’s finally found.

Nanny Bea:  And I know the wonder word!

[insert wonder word jingle]

Nanny Bea:  That is if it’s (whisper to Jules)

Jules:  It sure is. 

Nanny Bea:  Today’s wonder word is…

[insert drum roll]

Nanny Bea: Bequeath. To bequeath is to pass something on to another a fancy way to say give. When my dear friend Oscar the most curious moth flew off on holiday, he bequeathed all his worldly possessions to me.

[insert chimes]

Jules:  Hmm, I never thought a moth would have any possessions, anyway make sure to listen carefully and see if you can find bequeath in our tale. Are you ready for a story?

Nanny Bea:  Oh, yes please.

Jules:  Okay then, Where is Bob the Cat? , adapted for radio

‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Well I guess Sparky will have his dinner instead,’ said Mrs Mellon, mother of two, worker ‘til 5 and feeder of all, if they’re lucky.

‘Never you fear Mrs Mellon, I’m sure we can handle another abandoned kitty dinner, what d’ya say me ol’ mate,’  said the oversized mouse named Claus who lives behind the refrigerator.

‘Yeah that Sparky, ain’t so bright!’ his ‘ol mate Nate replied.

Nate and Claus loved the Mellon house with their lazy dog ironically named Sparky and their ever missing cat named Bob. Bob was faithfully fed morning and night but rarely made an appearance. That’s probably why Claus was so large and his friends were so many. There was of course Nate, his ‘ol mate,  and Patty his sometimes dance partner and we can’t miss Mitzy his, well nothing actually. Mitzy found Claus a bit too brash for her liking so avoided his company if she could. That was until the day, the first day in fact that she spotted the missing cat.

‘I was minding my own business like a good mouse does when all of a sudden I see towering above me a shadow, bigger than the armchair I was walking alongside. I shouldn’t  have but I did. I looked up to see ‘him’’ she ended with a voice so small the others could barely hear.

Claus being Claus said, ‘Was you wanting us to hear you, cause we can’t. You looked up and saw ‘what’ might I ask.’

‘Him,’ she could barely bring herself to eek out.

‘I think she said, ‘him’, didn’t you darling,’ asked Patty kindly. Mitzy gulped and nodded, ‘Mmm hmm, mmm, hmmm.’

‘Well, how’s about that, our little wall flower Mitzy has seen herself a ‘him’, how interesting,’ Claus said.

Never usually one to catch on very quickly, Nate surprised the others when he said, ‘Was your ‘him’ a Bob, Bob the cat kinda him?’

Mitzy went on mmm, hmmming, actually I don’t think she had stopped.

‘That explains it, seems the cat got her tongue,’ Claus said and made everyone, and almost Mitzy laugh.

‘Come on Mitzy tell us what happened, remember the mouse code.’ 

Oh yeah, the mouse code says that if one mouse sees a potential predator of any mouse, especially a mouse in the same house, that seeing mouse must be the being mouse that tells the others in that house all about the house eating mouse, louse, something like that.

Mitzy built up her nerve, ‘Well like I was saying, I was wondering past that plaid armchair in the middle of the sitting room, you know the one with the pink crocheted arm covers and the sheepskin seat cover?’

‘Yeah, yeah, we all know that one.’ It was an easy one to know.

‘Well, I was wondering, minding my own…’

Claus cut right across her, mid flow, ‘We know already, now get to the juicy bit!’

That put Mitzy off, ‘Oh, yes, well, the juicy bit, um, which bit was the juicy bit, I mean there was the ‘hah!’ bit and the ‘hoh’ bit and then of course the ‘eeg’ bit. I’ll tell you the ‘eeg’ bit that was when I looked up and realised the hulking great shadow perched on the crocheted covered arm was none other than Bob the cat. I thought that it was curtains for me, the big red velvet kind so I decided I’d leave my polka dotted bow to you Patty, you look so good in polkas dots or any kind of dots really.’

‘Okay I’m done,’ Claus spurted, ‘Nick me ‘ole mate, tell me the sweetened condensed version when madam here is done, I’m off to eat me some kitty dinner.’

‘But the kitty could be right there ready to nab you in one gulp!’ Nate replied and the other mice gasped.

‘If he was that hungry ‘ole chatter chops wouldn’t be here and I can’t say I ’d be missing if she weren’t,’ Claus said and went off to eat the abandoned dinner.

‘Don’t listen to him Mitzy, he don’t understand trauma and the like. We’re listening, aren’t we Nate?’ Patty said, giving him the raised eyebrow ‘you better say yes’ look.

Nate knew it well and quickly obliged, ‘Yes, yes we are listening.’

‘So where was I…oh yeah, I was thinking of all my worldly possessions and who I would bequeath them to, that’s a fancy word for give,’ Mitzy proudly added.

‘We’re still listening,’ an almost impatient Patty said, then pleaded, ‘Please, tell us what happened with the cat, just the cat.’

‘Oh sorry, I got carried away. So there he is, in all his glory sitting like a king on a throne if a throne were covered in pink crochet. He could’ve seen, he should’ve seen me but he didn’t. He looked right at me, but never blinked an eye.’

Claus came back, belly full at that moment, ‘Oh for crying out loud, is this still the cat tale? Come on, get to the point will you?’

Mitzy wasn’t deterred by Claus this time, instead she looked steely eyed right at him, ‘Bob the cat looked right at me but never saw me.’

‘Well that’s ridiculous, we waited this long for that?’

Nate surprised everyone again when he piped up, ‘It happened to me too. It was back in the summer. I was so terrified, so confused I never said a word.’

‘But what about the code!’ his not very happy now mate said.

‘I thought I was dreaming, maybe that Gouda the night before had made my head all funny. Cause just like with Mitzy, the cat looked right at me but didn’t see me.’

‘See!’ Mitzy said feeling verified. ‘And was he watching the tennis on the telly?’

‘Huh! He was in fact watching the tennis on the telly,’ Nate quickly replied.

‘So this tennis thing, is that the one with the little ball bouncing back and forth and back and forth?’ Patty asked.

‘Yeah, that’s the one! Sometimes it stops and little people go and get it then the back and forth starts again.’ 

‘That makes sense,’ Patty nodded, ‘I too have had a wee bit of a run in with the aforementioned cat. It was before your time. I came back and told the other mice and they mocked me, laughed out loud. I came to thinking I must’ve been mistaken but now…’

‘My mama told me about you,’ Claus said, with full recognition, ‘she said you talked crazy wild stuff about a cat being hypnotised.’

‘It isn’t crazy wild, it’s true!’ Mitzy spurted, ‘Bob the cat when he was looking like he was looking at me but not, ticked back and forth with that little ball on the screen like he was sleeping with his eyes open but you’re right Patty, he was being hypnotised.’

‘A cat we can hypnotise and a sparkless dog! Why we’ve landed in mouse heaven my friends!’ said Claus.

And mouse heaven it was, they would take advantage of those tennis watching moments and do as they pleased. Heading times those were and Sparky the sparkless dog never noticed a thing.

The End

Nanny Bea: Why thank you Jules. I too have fallen victim to tennis hypnosis. One Wimbolden I sat in that very chair for what came to be 3 days.

Jules: How did you snap out of it?

Nanny Bea: The kittens started licking my face. Surprisingly scratchy are kittens licking but it did the job.

Jules: You must’ve been so hungry.

Nanny Bea: My first thought was to visit the loo, then I saw to my hunger.  

Jules: Well next time you want to watch the tennis, let me know first! Regardless, I will be back next week.

Thomas:  Go to NannyBea.com

Jules:  Go there to find out about all our episodes. Then like us, recommend us but most importantly join us next week for more Tales and Tea.

[Be on the Show jingle]

Mr Announcer: This has been a Toad in the Hole production for NannyBea.com.