Planet Zid v Planet Zod

A young boy named Dibit from planet Zid faces off the giant Grug from Planet Zod with nothing but a sling shot.  A familiar story but with flying aliens, feathered sheep and an extra pair of arms.

Planet Zid v Planet Zod

by Jules de Jongh

based on David and Goliath

Season 1 Episode 16

[opening theme music and strapline]

Nanny Bea:    Hello there, you’ve come just in time. I’ve just made a cup of tea for my neighbour Jules who will bring us a story any…

[knock sfx]

Nanny Bea:  minute now.

Nanny Bea:  Hello, who is it?

Jules:  It’s your neighbour Jules, with a story?

Nanny Bea:  Oh come in. I can’t wait to hear what you have for us today.

Jules:  Well today we’ll hear a young boy named Dibit from planet Zid. We’ve got flying aliens and sheep who nearly fly, an epic battle and a surprise about who wins the day. And I must say a thank you to Charlie who inspired this tale. So are you ready for a story.

Nanny Bea:  Oh yes please

Jules:  Okay then, Planet Zid v Planet Zod

In a galaxy, not as far away as you’d think is a planet much like ours, Planet Zid, well actually it’s like ours was 3000 years ago when your grandpa’s, grandpa’s grandpa’s, grandpa lived, I should have said that 45 times, well let’s pretend that I did. The people on Zid are much like us except they have a spare pair of arms to carry babies, tickle children and hug everyone else.

One of these people is a young lad named Dibit, he’s the little brother in a house full of brothers, 7 to be exact. 7 splendid young men, doing the work young men do. They don’t take much notice of Dibit who is still a young boy doing the work young boys do. In this case, looking after their father’s flock. Not a gaggle or a gang not a pack or a pride but a flock. Now although Dibit may be young and not really given much thought, he is an excellent shepherd. He knows each sheep, probably by name, never lets them wander off, guides them to the good green pasture to eat and fresh clean water to drink. And if any beast comes with a plan to hurt his sheep, he fights them off all by himself, just him and his handy slingshot. And the wild lions on planet Zid are just as fierce as ours, the sheep are gentle creatures. Also like ours except they have feathers instead of fur. They weren’t always like this, they used to be furry but so many people fall asleep counting sheep that eventually the sheep sprouted feathers. They’re still hoping someday they will fly, but not today, today sheep on planet Zid can’t fly but aliens can, well kind of.

Aliens from Planet Zod. Aliens they most certainly are but not little green men with antenna on their heads, no they’re big purple people with antenna on their nose, it’s not a pretty site, I can tell you. They aren’t just big, they’re big and mean and loud and nasty. They take what isn’t theirs and break what isn’t broken. They think just because they’re the biggest, they can do what they want. But the truth is although they may be bigger, meaner and yelling louder, actually it’s the kinder, smarter, working harder people who win in the end. It’s not always easy to notice even though there are more nice people, they don’t shout so much. Aliens on planet Zod do, by now I’m sure you figured out who they are, they are bullies. Bullies who travel the galaxy conquering planets to pass the time. But how, how could they manage interplanetary travel in a time with no mobile phones, no cars, no showers even and boy could they use those, don’t worry you can’t smell them from here.

The smelly Zods, sorry no name calling, not even to bullies. The Zods regardless of how they smelled, stumbled upon space travel accidentally and literally. They are so big, that one day when everyone on the planet was throwing a tantrum, stomping their feet and shouting, they all stumbled at once—kerbump—that massive thud shifted Zod and bumped them right into their neighbouring planet Zig. That’s when they got a taste for conquering the galaxy. In time they perfected their stomping and stumbling, don’t even have to shout when they do it now. They conquer planets and just stick them on a shelf to gather dust or wipe all the people off and just use it as a ping pong ball. 

Well this day, they picked the wrong planet. They were heading to planet Zid where our friend Dibit lives. But Dibit wasn’t even part of the battle. The aliens from Zod showed up and 3 of Dibit’s brothers went out to protect their planet. Dibit was only allowed to bring them refreshments as he’s so young. The brothers and the whole of the army set up a camp, poised and ready to do battle. On the other side of the valley were the aliens from planet Zod also poised and ready, and bigger and stronger. The Zid’s, like so many other conquered planets they did not stand a chance. Dibit arrived with some bread and cheese for his brothers just when the action was about to begin. He could feel it in the air it was so tense you could bounce a coin off it. Then came shouting, from both sides, like an army of lions ready to pounce. The Zod’s made the first move. They were so cocky they sent out just one man. Well not just a man, the largest man in the entire planet, a giant even to them. He had feet the size of boats, hands the size of slightly smaller boats and if that wasn’t enough, he was dressed from antenna to toe in metal armour. With each step he went, cuh link, cuh link, cuh link and the ground shook beneath him. His army started chanting his name, “Grug, Grug, Grug, Grug!” Not to encourage him, no they weren’t that thoughtful, they did it kind of like a homing beacon so he could hear where he was going. You see, his body spent all its energy growing and his eyes were kind of neglected.

Just ten paces later and he was bang in the middle of the valley, he stood still as a mountain and shouted out his challenge, ‘Choose a man among you, let him come and fight me. If he wins, we will be your slaves, scrubbing your floors and polishing your boots. If we prevail then you shall be our servants, and I must warn you, our boots are very big!’

Camp Zid fell silent. I mean together they’d last a few hours but alone and against this giant it’d be minutes. No one took up the challenge, they just cowered in fear. 

Dibit was livid, ‘What’s wrong with you? I am not afraid of him! Isn’t there one amongst you who has the faith and courage to stand up against this bully?’ No, none of them – even though the king of Zid had offered a great reward, and his rewards were awesome, like all the ice cream you can eat sort of awesome. 

Dibit’s brothers heard his questions and it just made them furious. To be honest they probably had some pent up anger, maybe jealousy even cause their ‘little brother’ had already attracted the attention of the king previously with his music and then there was that wise man who said he’d be king one day. That really cheesed them off. This little runt was chosen when he could’ve picked from 7 strapping men! That’s a little back story for you. So with that anger on top of this anger they asked him, ‘What are you doing here? I thought you had sheep to look after? Meow, meow,’ they taunted him. Oh and that’s what sheep say on Zid, meaow, it’s a long story. Anyway Dibit made sure someone was taking care of the sheep when he was gone and didn’t rise to his brother’s taunts, after that wise man and all that king talk he’d learned how to have some self control and how to let some things slide. He just said, ‘What’s wrong, can’t I ask a question?’

That chat with his brothers came to an abrupt end as news had already reached the king and come back again that ‘someone’ was not afraid to fight Grug. That someone being Dibit of course. The king sent for him at once. Now it had been a while since Dibit had played music for the king so he was a bit bigger, still a boy though but a boy the king no longer recognized.

‘What is this I hear,’ said the king, ‘that, you a mere boy are willing to face this giant?’ ‘Well sir, it is my faith that has protected me when the wild beasts come to hurt my flock. I’ve fought off bears and lions and my faith that carried me through then will carry me through now!’ The king was impressed with such big talk from such a little fellow. ‘Let it be done then,’ the king said, ‘but here at least take my armour to protect you.’ The armour was a drag, way to big and clunky. Dibit liked to be light on his feet. So he could maneuver better around the giant better. 

He stood before him, Grug could hardly see him, ‘What is this a dog, a flea on a dog?’ the giant mocked. Dibit kept his calm. Grug raised his spear to make a Dibit kebab in one stab but before he got anywhere near, Dibit shot his stone straight between the giants antenna, a vulnerable spot, perfectly aimed and directed after all those years of protecting his sheep. The stone embedded into Grugs head, the giant wobbled, the giant groaned, the giant came crashing to the ground. The entire Zod army ran wee, wee, wee all the way home. So much for Grug’s promise to be their slaves if Dibit won. I’d like to say that this was the last they saw of the  Zod’s but no they still didn’t learn their lesson, not for eight more years, but that’s another story.

The End

Nanny Bea:  Oh Jules, thank you but what about Dibit becoming king?

Jules:  Nothing slips past you Nanny Bea. That might be part of the next Planet Zod story. Dibit probably had some more lessons to learn before he could take on that job.

Nanny Bea:  Well I’m still learning at my age, it never seems to stop! Today I was reminded that with practice and perseverance you can achieve most anything. Speaking of, I really must practice some more of my ice dancing. I’m a swan in the local production and it’s quite an ask because the other dancers are real swans. And I haven’t forgotten about those tickets you ordered, front and centre. I’ll have them next week.    

Jules:  Great, I’ll pick it up when I come back next week for another Tales and Tea?

Thomas:  Go to NannyBea.com

Jules:  Go there to find out about all our episodes. On NannyBea.com there’s our entire collection of stories to listen to and to read along. As well as details about how you can take part in the show or contact us like our helper did this week with an idea for a story.

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