Bumble Jumbo

Trevor and Stan were a couple of ordinary fleas just looking for a break from the monotony of life, so when Trevor’s uncle offered them two free tickets to paradise, they jumped on it. Well Trevor jumped and Stan kind of staggered, he has an unearthly fear of flying. 

Bumble Jumbo

by Jules de Jongh

Season 2 Episode 29

[opening theme music and strapline]

Nanny Bea:  Good day to you, it’s nearly time for my neighbour Jules to bring us a story. I have our tea ready and we just await her arrival any…

[knock sfx]

Nanny Bea:  minute now.

Nanny Bea:  Someone’s at the door. How curious. Hello, who is it?

Jules:  Hello Nanny Bea, it’s your neighbour Jules with a story.

Nanny Bea:  Well isn’t that convenient, we were waiting for you. Hello dear.

Jules:  Hello, I hope you’re itching for a tale?

Nanny Bea:  You say that as though ‘itching’ has some significance but it’s completely lost on me.

Jules:  It’s just that I have a story about a couple of flying fleas.

Nanny Bea:  Oh, I see, very itchy if they are flying on me. But before our story we have a special caller, with a Wonder Word.

[wonder word jingle]

Jude:  Hi Nanny Bea, I’m Jude and I’ve a wonder word for you, it is akimbo. 

[drum roll]

Jude:  Akimbo is when you have your hands on your hips and elbows pointing back or your just bent up in any old shape, like me after a game of Twister. Bye Nanny Bea.

[piano out]

Jules:  Why thank you Jude. Listen out everybody for Akimbo. Are you ready for a story?

Nanny Bea:  Oh, yes please.

Jules:  Okay then, Bumble Jumbo, adapted for radio

Trevor and Stan were a couple of ordinary fleas just looking for a break from the monotony of life, so when Trevor’s uncle offered them two free tickets to paradise, they jumped on it. Well Trevor jumped and Stan kind of staggered, he has an unearthly fear of flying. 

‘Welcome ladies and gentlefleas to Bee Body Airlines flight 241 to Dogtown, St Louis. Will all priority passengers and those in the premium yellow isles prepare to board with your tickets and passports ready for inspection?’

‘Is that us?’ Stan asked nervously, but he did everything nervously since the flight was booked.

‘No mate,’ said Trevor, ‘don’t get your antennae in a twist.’ The problem was, Stan’s antennae were already in a twist as were his legs, all six of them akimbo like a pack of spaghetti in the tumble dryer.

Once all the fleas with children, the ones with mobility issues and the ones with moola galore boarded, the flight attendant looked at Trevor and Stan standing in front of her then returned to the microphone,

‘Will all those remaining passengers for Bee Body Airlines flight 241 to Dogtown, please board now.’

Trevor and Stan were the only remaining passengers. The black isle was a bit skimpy of the leg room but that made no difference to Stan whose legs were still akimbo. Trevor sat over the wing as Stan was in no condition to operate the emergency exit, in case of, well you know an emergency.

‘Good afternoon high flying fleas, I’m your pilot today, you can call me Chip, just so long as you call me. Today you’re riding our Bumble Jumbo Jet. She’s been part of our fleet for a mighty long time so for all you nervous passengers rest assured you’re in for a smooth ride, unless she’s been hitting too much of that nectar again. Now uh, please make yourselves comfortable and listen closely to the lovely Ilene who will take you through our safety procedures.’

This unsettled Stan even further, ‘Nervous passengers, there’s more of us? That must mean we’re on to something, I mean why would multiple passengers be afraid of flying if there was nothing to be afraid of. And why, why have safety procedures unless it is unsafe?’

‘Woah, dial it back my friend, we are on a one way ticket to Dogtown, it doesn’t get better than this,’ Trevor said hoping to calm his friend, it didn’t

(Giggle)’ Why thank you Chip and I’ll defo be calling you. So, yes, um, what was I supposed to…oh, oh yes. Safety procedures. Ladies and gentlefleas please ensure to fasten your safety belts, I like to do mine with a little bow, you’re never too busy to be pretty. And remain seated for the duration of our flight. Oh, oh  I nearly forgot, again, in case of an emergency, like falling rapidly from the sky,  please secure your nectar nodes and return your seats to their upright positions ‘cause even if we’re crashing, you’re never too busy to be tidy. Enjoy your flight.’

‘Emergency! Falling from the sky!’ 

‘Shh, worrying won’t add a bristle to your plantar. We’re already in the air mate, better in than out.’

Stan said no more for the rest of the flight, even though the Bumble Jumbo had to divert to avoid some hornets and got caught up in a boy’s birthday bubble blower. It wasn’t a pretty sight, well actually it was I mean all those beautiful bubbles and a bumble bee bobbing through them. Stan didn’t see it that way, neither did Trevor, Ilene or Chip for that matter.

 ‘Hold on to your antennae folks we’re in for some turbulence,’ Captain Chip said stating the obvious. 

The nectar nodes were in place, the seats were upright. Everyone onboard agreed that you are in fact, never too busy to be tidy. There were some gasps, a few squeals and one scream, from Trevor in fact. For all his talking, he was as nervous as Stan if not more so. Stan still was not talking.    

They came down just outside of Dogtown. The fleas were safe, but disappointed that was until Ilene returned to the tannoy. 

‘Good Afternoon ladies and gentlefleas, I have it on good authority that your luggage has safely arrived at our Dogtown destination, sadly we have not. By the time your vacation is over, we should have reunited you with your belongings. I would say sorry for the inconvenience but if we were truly sorry we’d make more of an effort but we don’t. Thank you for flying Beebody Airlines.’

All this worry and they didn’t even reach Dogtown. Trevor and Stan were devastated, that was until they stepped off the plane and realised they’d landed in a little place called Kitty Corner. They picked up the first cat that strolled by and the rest was history.

Oh you don’t know that history, well Trevor and Stan took a $5 correspondence course in ice cream making, started selling it on the road on a very wide or as they liked to say VW beetle, they started a franchise, gave a lot to charity and the rest was history.

What you don’t know that history either, okay well basically they became kings of the ice cream world with their famous chunky hunky and cool things and cream. Then they went to the White House, visited the Queen and made the first lactose, fructose and french toast free vegenarian frozen dessert, ever. 

The End

Nanny Bea: Oh thank you Jules. I was wondering where to find some lactose, fructose and french toast free vegenarian frozen dessert, and now I know. 

Jules:  I think the portions are very small.

Nanny Bea:  Precisely and what could be more ideal to sell at the upcoming flea circus. 

Jules:  Once again Nanny Bea, I cannot argue with that.

Nanny Bea:  Will you bring us another story soon?

Jules:  Of course, I’ll be back next week.

Thomas:  Go to NannyBea.com

Jules:  Go there to find out about all our stories and how you can take part in the show like the talented Jude. Make sure to like or follow us on iTunes or Spotify to get a reminder and come back next week for more Tales and Tea.

[Be on the Show jingle]

Mr Announcer: This has been a Toad in the Hole production for NannyBea.com.